After spending the last 4 spring breaks of my college career doing community service somewhere, practicum work, or visiting family I decided it was definitely time to do something FUN for spring break this year.

Plan A: Go to Europe, that didn't work for financial reasons and the fact that I still haven't got my passport renewed.

Plan B (which I like FAR better than plan a anyway): GO TO VEGAS. This started out being more of a whim, thinking why the heck not. I asked my bf Cory and my bff Nic if they wanted to go to Vegas over my spring break and got a surprising YES!

So finally in my senior year of college I am going on Spring Break somewhere crazy with my two best friends. What more could a girl ask for? A crazy week in Las Vegas at a sick hotel with her bff's? That's the life.

We already booked the hotel and doing the flights this week sometime hopefully, If anyone has any specific Vegas highlights they want to suggest, feel free!

Thinking about the past is a dangerous thing. Though the past is valuable for life lessons, it's also painful to reminisce about.
There is a specific person in my life who tried to ruin my life. She was my friend, my roommate, and she called herself my sister. I should have known in the early years of our friendship (that lasted 5 years) that she was not a true friend. I hold her responsible for my rape. It was one of her friends who I had specifically told her creeped me out and please don't let him in my home. She did and turned her back on me. I hold her responsible for ruining past relationships. She threatened many of my previous romantic interests. She went out of her way to gossip about me and to interfere in my family life. However, through all this I funded practically all of our posh lifestyle,did her hair, nails, etc. for free. Paid most of the bills, brought her dozens of friends that she would have otherwise never met and then she alienated them, I offered her the comfort of my family, and my trust. All of which she abused and turned against me. Her jealously almost cost me my relationship with the love of my life. Luckily he was far more understanding of love and friendship than she ever was or could be.

The past makes me think of past relationships as well and what the heck really went wrong there. There was once or twice that I thought I had found "it". Obviously it wasn't the right timing or the right place for that to work because now I have "it" with someone who I would have never expected to be a perfect match with. I think it was just the perfect time and perfect place. Maybe it was that I needed someone who would be there for me and that I could take care of simultaneously. Maybe it's not forever, but just for as long as we both need each other. I hope it's forever. I don't reminisce because I miss these things, but because I want to know how I got where I am.
I want to know what it is in my life that has made me distrust people, that has made me always want to prove myself to those I love, that has made me want to be alone for the sake of not hurting anyone else with my life and mistakes.

Just my wandering thoughts.

Being at my parent's house for Christmas has given me ample opportunity for thought. This could be due to the daily snowstorms that "snow" us in. It could be due to the lack of madia-related entertainment here. It could also be due to the fact that I'm A.D.D. However there are frustrations that I have at the moment that apply to today specifically.

1. Why do people who typically treat you in a negative way all of a sudden up and act like you're friends (Resulting in shopping trips and long drives).

2. Why is it that when I just want to talk to the person who I love, respect, and care for the most to talk about everything and nothing is never available.

Those were my two biggest frustrations today. I have a migraine and think I will let Copper sleep in bed with me tonight.